Pain, pleasure
by hellovick
Summary: There it was. It was time to accept it at once. This time, it was her clock the one that was running out of time. Oz could see how her own life started to be a painful way to the end. He just stood there, looking for a way to replace that pain with something else.


-I am going to say this once more. She won't stay with us for long-

-What do you mean? - The scared boy asked with certain anger. This was not going to happen- this could not be happening.

-You have to listen to me. - The young man said, looking through the window as if nothing really bad was happening. –There are not too many options.-

-I won't do anything to hurt Alice; you know that better than anyone else- He responded. Out of any possible way to escape the truth Oz was living now, there was nothing but questions he could not answer at all. –Break, I'm not going to kill her-

-Are you telling me you prefer someone else doing it?-

-I'm telling you that she is not going to get killed. - He told the white haired man in a convinced form. He was not going to let anyone even touch the young dying girl. He was going to sit there, next to her bed, and accompany her through the terrible pain she was feeling.

-You know she's passing through a very brave situation. Oz-kun, listen well; Miss Alice is going to die anyway, and let me tell you that in a very painful way. It would be the best to end with her pain at once.-

-I know I will find a way to help her. I just need time to think-

Break closed his eye and sighed. This was impossible. –She's bearing a very painful moment as you stand here and try to think. It only gets worse.-

-I will find a way to save her. I won't let her die… I won't let anybody touch her. That is not a choice for me- Oz spoke once more, before getting out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

The one-eyed man showed no expression when the blond boy left. He just stood there, looking out the same window. He knew what was going to happen, and how it was going to happen, but he could not refuse the fact that he didn't want it to happen. Again, it would be one more tragedy written down in that story.

It was a very cold day- one colder than the day before. As time passed by and the same situation got worse and worse, the weather seemed to get colder and colder.

Cold was the feeling of death.

And there, lying on a double bed was a dying and cold Alice. The pain in her chest seemed to consume her whole body, and it felt like she was being stabbed over and over again. She puked blood now and then, when the pain was unbearable, and then she felt better for a short period of time. She had learned lots and lots of things, lots of stories and lots of people, and she had learned as well that after so many tragedies happening before her very eyes, this was the story of herself being a tragedy. She felt that her soul was leaving her body very slowly, and that made her so angry she could barely think.

The door opened when someone went into the room, and closed without a sound. Alice knew who it was, she knew it was Oz. She knew the blond boy was very frustrated; for once in his life, he had no way to find a good part in the situation.

Oz sat next to her and showed a very worried expression, while she made her best to sit up as well and rest her head against his chest.

-How are you feeling? - He asked in a whisper as his hands made their way to her back. He hugged her carefully and kissed her forehead.

-I'm fine- She responded, knowing he wouldn't believe it.

However, this time Oz would not argue with her about her words being a lie. He knew it was better to pretend and fake a smile, instead of letting himself be sad in front of his dear Alice. He put a small smile on his lips and a warm expression in his eyes when he looked down at her. Those beautiful violet eyes had the same determination they always used to have.

Alice frowned. –If you are going to show me a smile when you're with me, don't make it look fake-

-It's not fake-

-It is- She responded. –Don't even try to lie to me. You know it's useless-

And yes, she was right. It was so useless to try and lie to her about his feelings. She knew how he felt, why he felt that way, and how he would always think about the same thing and never let it go. –What can I do for you? Tell me if there is something I can do- Oz asked her, fully concerned about her answer.

-Stay with me- She said in a very soft tone of voice. She looked at him deep in his green emerald eyes, and blinked. –Also, it would help if you genuinely smiled now.-

-Right- He did as she said. He was afraid of one truth deep inside his mind, the truth of not having a way to save her life. Of course, he would not accept that fact. He would deny that thought every time it passed through his mind.

Why? -Because he would never accept something that meant the disappearance of his dearest person.

Alice gasped, sending one of her hands to her chest, pressing against it like trying to rip her heart out of her body. It hurt, and her face, her very pained expression was proving it.

-Alice- He instantly started- What's wrong? Tell me where it hurts-

-Everywhere- She gasped, closing her eyes with so much force it also hurt- My chest, it hurts. It hurts! - She almost yelled. Small tears appeared in her eyes, and this was enough to make Oz feel horrible.

Alice sobbed, and then she hugged the blond boy. She hugged him so strongly, that he could swear her pain was being transferred to him as well.

He took her between his embrace as she continued to sob hard. –Damn! - She complained, feeling as if her body was being destroyed from inside.

-Hold on. Please, hold on- Oz just said. He knew what her pain meant, but he still was determinate to deny that fact.

-Help me- She said between gasping. These words surprised him very, very much. He felt commotion, and he felt uneasy.

Alice was dying, and there was nothing he could do.

Still, he would not accept it yet. –Tell me what I can do for you. I'll do anything, anything Alice.-

-The pain- She sobbed, and now her cheeks were wet with her tears. –Make the pain go away- She pressed herself against him, as if trying to get into his body. Her pain was unbearable. She could not take it.

Oz closed his eyes with anger. He felt useless, and he knew then that he also felt very sad. He caressed her head and held his breath for a second.

And then she started to cough. It seemed that her soul was going to escape from her throat.

Oz patted her back softly, trying to convince himself to calm down and stay there for her, instead of getting out of that room in order to find a cure, but anyway, there was none.

Alice continued to cough louder and louder, and didn't seem to stop soon. Oz then looked at her, and got a very unpleasant surprise. –Alice, you're bleeding! - The blond exclaimed as he watched blood coming out of her mouth and falling down her chin.

More to his horrible surprise, he then looked at his chest. His bright brown vest was dirty with blood. He gasped, and it was right then than he noticed it.

He was scared- And he would accept it now. He was totally scared of the situation; not only the situation itself, but the other facts that were coming after Alice's death.

-Don't panic- He heard the girl say.

-I have to give you your medicine. I must help you get clean, Alice. You have to rest as well; you need to get some sleep- He worriedly told her.

-Don't leave me now - She said before coughing once more.

-I won´t-

-I know you will leave as soon as I fall asleep-

He tried to lie with his eyes. Oz wondered how she could always read and guess his actions, even before he even showed any intention on doing them.

Alice, on her part, tried to clean her mouth. Her hand was removed from her lips, and replaced with a tissue. Oz was removing the blood from her face, showing that terribly worried expression she hated so much. –You know I won't let myself give in with ease to this- She spoke, blushing briefly at his affectionate actions.

-Right- He did not notice there was no smile on his factions. He forgot to smile, he forgot to pay attention to the blushing he loved so much, he forgot about everything concerned to sweetness. –Now- He took a small and familiar bottle, and opened it in front of the brunette's eyes.

-Don't even bother trying; I won't drink it-

-Alice, it's for your health to rise-

-That is not medicine. You only make me fall asleep so I don't feel this damn pain. You all leave me alone after giving that thing to me-

-Please, drink it- He tried ignoring her words.

-I won't do it, Oz! – She exclaimed. She then gasped at the pain she was feeling once more. –I won't let you leave me alone in this room!-

-I won't leave you alone, Alice, I promise I won't-

-Then you don't have to give me that fake medicine. Pass through this with me. If you want to be with me, then take advantage of the time we have now, idiot!-

-Your pain, Alice- He insisted, looking at her right in the eye. She frowned and pressed her head against Oz's chest, trying not to say any rude thing that could add tension to the moment.

But both of them were tense, anyway.

-I want to…- Alice started, as she tried to prevent tears from pouring out her sick eyes. –I want to spend the time I have left with you, idiot- She started- It would be useless if I just laid here, instead of taking advantage of the time I have left!-

-Alice- He called her name, taking her in his embrace as he tried to ignore the paralyzing sadness forming inside him. –I… I can't bear seeing you in such pain-

-So what?!- She suddenly looked up at him. –I prefer being conscious so I can be with you! Even if it hurts! What kind of manservant are you that you can´t understand?!- She almost yelled, showing an angry expression and a small tear escaping the corner of her left eye.

Oz then pressed his arms around her body, making sure to have her near him for sure. He swore he felt tears of his own creating in the corner of his eyes.

Alice buried her face in the blonde's chest. She knew he was fighting against his feelings. –Spend this time left with me, Oz- She started once more.

-I'm here. I won't leave your side; Alice- He spoke softly, and as sweetly as he could in that moment. He kissed the top of her head. –I will make your pain go away, and I will stay with you-

-You sure will- She chuckled sarcastically. The pain in her chest seemed to come and go, but it grew bigger and bigger. This fact made her think deeply in the situation. She was confused, because she didn't know if to accept the fact that she was in that state, or if to fight against it even though she knew how she would end.

-Does it hurt now?-

-Not at all. It comes and goes- She responded to his question.

-I see- He kissed the top of her head once more. –Then, I will make it go away as soon as it comes-

-Idiot, that's what you are supposed to do-

-I know- He smiled softly, caressing her back while trying to calm down inside.

There was a brief moment of silence. Oz was seeking for an answer, something that could tell him that the truth could be changed this time. He wished to have a cure, to be able to do something.

He was so angry, that Alice's sickness hadn´t been discovered at time.

-I hate it when you are silent- The girl suddenly said.

-Uh? - He looked down at her, feeling certainly surprised- What do you mean?-

-You stay silent because you are thinking about this. You think about it all the time, as if you are able to do something-

-I know I will be able to do something, Alice-

-I told you not to try to lie to me. Stop doing it- She hid her face in his chest like moments ago. Her tone of voice was calm, but the anger within her was a real riot.

-Are you telling me… there is nothing I can do?-

-Don't act as if you don't know it-

-Alice…- His eyes couldn't stop looking down at her. He felt an imminent commotion again. He couldn't believe she herself would admit something like that. –You… you are not giving up, are you? - He asked, not being able to hide the fright in his voice.

The brunette closed her eyes, while feeling the beat of Oz's heart against her own. She didn't want to look up at him, because she would find that expression she hated so much. Her breath stopped for a second, before she opened her eyes with determination.

This was the truth, even though it was terrible. This was happening now, and it couldn't be avoided; knowing this, and trying to keep herself calm so she could face Oz, Alice lifted up her head to look at him right in the eye ball. -I'm not giving up, and I'm not giving in either- She started. –I told you I won't give in with so much ease to this- She then took Oz by his vest and went closer to him. –I will fight against this for as long as I can, even if it is for just a couple of minutes! - She then exclaimed, grinning with that self-confidence she always had.

She felt awfully weak inside. Oz also knew that.

He looked at her, as if trying to find some other answer inside her violet, paralyzing eyes. –Don't say that- He told her, hearing her words in his mind all over again. –Please, don't say that. There won't be just minutes, there won't be just hours. Alice, I won't let you…! - He didn't finish his sentence. He couldn't say that word. He just kept on looking at her, trying to deny it all.

Alice blinked, as if what he just said was not really bad. Suddenly, she understood. Fighting against the mixed up feelings inside of her, she pronounced that word that the young boy didn't say. -…Die?-

That very same word made the blonde shiver. He closed his eyes and wished for time to stop, for all of it to be a lie. He was so sad; he was so angry and felt so impotent.

He would not have a problem if he had to admit that he was angry with himself.

-I won't let you die…- He whispered. He opened his eyes slowly and tried to smile as warmly as he could. –I won't-

Alice didn't say a word for a while. She just stayed between his arms, not wanting to leave the place she was in now. –Stop acting fake- She showed a hurt expression from a second to another. –I know what you think, Oz.-

-I know you do. I just can't help it- He confessed, showing certain determination in his voice. He broke inside when Alice showed that hurt expression, and couldn't help but to kiss her forehead.

He could have kissed her lips, but that was something for another intimate moment, for a moment that didn't have such sadness.

-Make this pain go away- She suddenly said, because her chest was on fire once more.

But this fire hurt.

-Where does it hurt?-

-My chest. It hurts. - She complained. She knew her pain would increase more and more until it was unbearable again.

Oz, by his part, couldn't avoid the sadness inside him. There was so much he could not explain, and still, there it was.

-Alice, please- He enabled himself to talk. –I… I promise I will come back; I will stay with you once I get the medicine you really need. For now, you have to drink this one- He took the medicine's bottle in his hand again.

-Stop… Stop insisting so much already- She tried to sound harsh, but her pain made her sound weak, and almost scared. –I won't drink it; I don't want to lose this time with you, damn it!-

-Look at me- He pleaded, taking her by her chin to lift up her gaze.

Their eyes met.

-I won't drink that thing-

-Alice, I'm telling you, I won't leave you alone. I need time; I need time to find the cure, to find a proper medicine, so you will be fine-

-I'm fine now. You know what will happen. I accepted this myself, so why can't you?!- She yelled, hurt by the feeling in her chest, which was taking her soul away –Why can't you stay next to me?...- She ended in a soft whisper.

He sighed, totally disgusted by the situation. He would never accept what the situation meant, even if Alice herself did. –Alice- He kept on looking at her, and then he kissed the corner of her lips. –I will do everything I can to save you. Give me one more try, just one more.-

-No-

-Alice-

-You won't be here with me. You will leave me alone for long, and I don't want to be alone when I…- She stopped her sentence when the blonde's lips brushed softly against hers. It wasn't exactly a kiss, but it was enough for her to stop talking.

She liked that kind of tact, but it made her angry now.

She pulled away from him and looked down. –Don't do this- A small tear formed in her right eye, before more and more tears appeared and rolled down her pale cheeks.

-One more try. I promise it won't take me long-

He kept insisting, and it bothered Alice to the core. She tried hard not to give in to his actions and sweet promises. She would be left in loneliness if she gave in.

-Alice- He then called her name to hear the answer. He dried up the path of tears in the young girl's cheeks. He hated those tears, because he hated it when she was sad.

-You…- She started, hugging him firmly. –You have to come back; I won't forgive you if you leave me alone for long-

-…- Oz's throat hurt. – Thank you-

-You know I'm accepting what you're asking me for because I have no other choice, right? - He heard her saying. –I know you will leave anyway. At least, I prefer to know you will come back.-

-I promise I won't leave you alone for long. In fact, not even an hour will pass, and I'll be here again- He smiled warmly, making her feel secure.

-I will kill you if you're not here soon- She frowned. Oz laughed briefly to that.

Someone knocked at the door, then.

-Alice-sama? - A soft and sweet voice talked from the other side. It was Sharon; both Alice and Oz recognized her.

-Come in- Oz said, not too loud.

The door opened, and Sharon was revealed in the room. She smiled when she saw Oz sitting next to the sick dying girl, merely hugging her. -I will help Alice get clean. Hot water will make her feel a bit better- She told him.

Sharon wouldn't lie. Alice would feel a bit better, but not completely.

-Right, I have to go then- The green eyes boy said, but before he could stand up, Alice grabbed him by his arm.

-Don't forget what you promised- She whispered, showing confidence in her deep and sad eyes.

-I will be back- He smiled, kissed the top of her head, and stood up. He shared glares with Sharon before getting out of the room.

Time was running out since that moment, and he knew he had to do something. Deep inside, he was starting to realize he wouldn't make it.

Oz walked along the hall and down the stairs, looking for a friend that was supposed to help him. Gil had told him to meet him in some point of the mansion early in the morning that day, but Oz was unsure of where he might be.

Rain started falling from the sky, as the cold wind started to appear around.

Oz went outside, finding both Raven and Xerxes in the garden, at a certain distance. He didn't think it twice before going closer.

The blond found himself disgusted when he heard the two men talking about the same thing again; Alice's death.

The boy's presence wasn't hard to notice; he walked towards Gil and Break, being seen by them. Their faces turned into worried expressions as the youngest boy went closer. They both knew Oz was going to demand to know.

He surely wanted to know about their conversation.

-Oz- Gil started, trying not to sound too surprised, because he then remembered he had told Oz to meet him somewhere. He and Break knew what was going to happen. In fact, the whole situation and its end were known to everyone, even Sharon and Liam. The only one, who would try to deny the truth even though he himself knew, was Oz.

-Gil, Break- The emerald eyed boy pronounced their names, letting clear he was disgusted by seeing them talking in private about such things.

-I thought you were with Miss Alice, Oz-kun. - Xerxes responded to Oz's silent demand.

-I was, but Sharon had to help Alice take a bath.-

The moment was really uncomfortable. Silence made its presence between the three young men, and Oz knew there was something no one was telling him.

Gil, too, knew there was something Oz wanted to say. He could see it deep into his green eyes. He knew Oz was disgusted by seeing him with Break, and being discovered by the blonde in that situation was very unpleasant for him. He was supposed to find him alone.

Oz had appeared too soon.

-What were you talking about? - He asked that that Break and Gil didn't want to hear. However, an answer had to be told.

-I think you heard very well, Oz-kun. What are you expecting us to say? - Break asked, knowing he had taken the boy off guard, trapping him.

Oz smiled. But this time his face showed an angry smile, as if he was trying to keep his anger and mixed up feeling inside of him, but trying to show them at the very same time.

-Oz- Gil repeated his name, somehow scared of what the boy could say. He felt safe in the other side; he knew Oz very well, and he would be able to tell what part of his words were lies, if he lied.

-I want to know what you are planning to do- He spoke, not erasing that threatening smile of his lips. He sounded disgusted, of course.

Silence; they kept silent for a couple of seconds, which seemed hours; a complete eternity of silence.

-Very well, then- Break decided to erase such moment with his voice. He wasn't going to lie, and he wasn't going to hide sentences between others. He was going to be brutally honest. –As you may notice, we all are worried about Miss Alice's actual situation.-

-I see that- The blond responded, sounding harsh.

-Well. We all think… no, let me correct myself. We all _know_ that Miss Alice is not going to make it through her sickness, which I dare say is in a totally advanced state.- He said, not minding how deep his words could hurt Oz. At the blonde's silence, he continued. –We know the moment we fear of is more than near, so we are planning a way for all of us to say goodbye, if we don't get to end with her pain - He finished his explanation, totally aware of what it could cause in the boy's self. Xerxes Break didn't show the smallest expression to his own words.

Oz wasn't satisfied with the white haired man's words. It hurt, it made him feel uneasy, and it just seemed unreal. He was not going to let him say such stupid things. And then, realizing those words and his own thoughts were making too much pressure, he started talking without thinking. –Alice is aware of this…- He spoke, more to himself than to the two men. –She seems to be ok with it- He continued, and this time, maybe without noticing it, he let clear how frustrated he was. –I can't understand why, because she always fights against this kind of things…- He showed that angry expression in his eyes that also transferred sadness. –I can't understand why she gave up this time- He closed his eyes, knowing something he was familiar with since long ago was about to invade his eyes.- She just gave up-

Tears.

He opened his green eyes.

Both Xerxes and Raven were standing there, speechless at the boy's attitude. They were expecting something like that to happen, but it also was surprising no matter how many times it happened.

Well, Break wasn't that surprised. He was a man who would always observe a person, studying every move and expression. He knew Oz would react that way. But in the other side, Gil was broken, broken by the blonde's sad words.

-She didn't give up; she fought as much as she could when the sickness was discovered, but she also knows what is going to happen, Oz. - The black haired man spoke, trying to sound calm, and somehow, trying to sound comforting.

But it was useless, because he knew Oz wouldn't listen to him anymore. His anger, his sadness and his impotent feeling every time he thought about Alice seemed to kill him, as if he could die together with the sick and young girl.

-She gave up… You two gave up, and everyone gave up…- Oz continued to say. It seemed so hard to avoid his feelings, it just couldn't stop. –Why? How did you convince her to give up this way? - He continued to say those hurtful words, stabbing himself as he spoke.

His words also stabbed Gil. –What are you trying to say? -The black haired man asked, totally scared of what the blonde may have meant. –Oz, she accepted this herself.-

-Why?!- The boy looked up at Raven, as if he could enter into his eyes and rip his soul apart any moment. –She would have never accepted something like this! She doesn't even think I can help her somehow! She… she doesn't believe in me anymore…- He frowned as he spoke, not believing his very own words.

Break decided to keep quiet and silent, just watching both Oz and Gil as they shared sentences. He left all possible word to Gil, knowing he could manipulate better phrases, and the right sentences to convince Oz.

-We didn't influence her in any way. Oz, you have to accept this.-

-I won't. I won't stand by her just to watch her die-

-Listen to me, please. - Gil rested his hand in the boy's head, not able to put a smile on his own lips. –Alice trusts you more of what she trusts us. Don't even think she stopped believing in what you do, or in what you say. - He looked right into those green and insecure eyes, trying not to fall down into their abyss. He had to stay strong to support the blonde –If you continue to search for a cure, time will run out, and you won't get to be there when Alice needs you the most. Believe me, Oz, you will really regret it if you are not there in time- He sincerely spoke, knowing those words had to be told time ago.

Oz didn't pronounce a word, looking right into Gil's eyes, taking in every word he just had said. He broke inside, feeling the commotion in him grow bigger. –…if I'm not there in time? - He asked, repeating the last part of what Gil had said, as if asking what he meant.

Break decided to finish this time, looking at Oz with a calm but sharp expression in his eye. –What Gil-kun is trying to say, is that you should be with Miss Alice now. Otherwise, you will regret not taking advantage of this time you have. Use it; you don't really know how much you got left.-

And that was completely enough. –Oz, I don't really know how much you are willing to try yet, but please understand what we all are trying to tell you. - Gil said.

Something was getting to Oz, because he froze right there. –I…- He tried to find something to say, so he wouldn't seem so weak and empty. He realized it completely with those words.

He wouldn't make it, no matter how much he tried.

-You have to stay with Miss Alice.-

Right.

-How much time does she have left? - Oz convinced himself to ask.

-As I told you this morning, the situation is already unbearable for her. At this point, we don't expect for her to least more than a few days, more or less.-

-A few days? - The boy looked at Break with such a scared and worried expression that almost transferred itself to the white haired man.

-A week, if we try to be exact. –

And Oz's eyes widened with horrible surprise. His chest and his throat hurt, and his eyes instantly seemed to get wet. –Are… are you sure? - His voice trembled.

-Oz, we can see how advanced her state is. We know it for sure. - Gil replied.

-No, it can't be- He stepped back, feeling his heart beating slowly, with anger and commotion all once again.

-You have to stay calm- Gil repeated. –Oz- He looked into his eyes, trying to make him understand what his look was trying to express.

Oz had thought for a mere second that it all was accepted, and that it was time to take in the situation, but hearing those words, he just wouldn't bring himself to accept it yet.

He couldn't give in to it.

- I know you will get what we mean- Gil blinked.

-Oz-kun, you better go and start spending your time with Miss Alice-

And then, the blonde looked at the two men, expressing a thousand of doubts and a thousand of feelings that were making pressure.

He was about to run away and lock himself in his room, so his surprising tears would be hidden from every single human being. He was speechless, left without words into an abyss he was trapped in since long, long ago.

And it all was because of that situation that took his breath away.

He kept everything inside of him as always at the time of looking at his feet. He kept his head down as he started walking away from both Xerxes and Raven. He was frozen inside, and he was emotionless, without expression.

Life was fading away from him, erasing that certain faith that he knew would disappear someday.

Oz didn't hear a single more word from his friends, and he knew they wouldn't do anything else to stop him. He knew Gil would feel horrible inside, but right then, he didn't care about anything, not even about himself.

The halls and walls seemed to get longer and taller as he walked towards the very same room. -Have I tried in vain? - He asked himself in a weak whisper. His steps were slow; he was like a ghost, condemned.

Alice's sickness had been discovered just a couple of weeks ago. Anyone could tell how she had gotten to it, or what caused it. Doctors, poison experts, Pandora agents, absolutely everyone had looked for an answer during the following weeks.

It was a mystery, a mystery which had chosen Alice to hide inside her body. It was true that there were certain sicknesses that didn't have a single explanation in those times. Maybe Alice was a victim of one of them; in fact, it was clear now.

What started with simple pain and difficulty to breath, ended with Alice puking blood, coughing from a second to another, passing away and falling into that unbearable pain that had taken over her whole body from inside-

The two last doctors that had visited to examine Alice, considered that there were deep problems in her organism. Her intern organs were damaged, causing internal bleeding. They told everyone, including Oz, that she would pass away because of her weakness. She had to stay in bed, because she was internally damaged, and so, the pain would take over her easily. Doctors had deduced that one of her organs had started the problem, which started spreading to the rest of her organs, eventually making her fall into that state.

The nightmare had begun long ago.

Finding himself lost between himself and the dying girl, Oz stopped in his steps. Was he going to cry? Was he going to run towards Alice's room in order to convince her to fight? Was he going to give up together with her? He couldn't answer to any of those questions, because no choice seemed correct to him.

He sighed then, giving in to the thought of accepting the present's facts. His own thought surprised him very much, knowing he himself was the one who told everyone else to keep on fighting.

Oz started walking once more, knowing he had to go somewhere else, anywhere but Alice's room. He had an excuse, and it was that Sharon was still with her, helping her get clean. His throat hurt more and more as he reached his bedroom's door.

He took a deep breath, trying to fight back his tears, trying to keep them, and trying to calm down. He slowly opened the door, and rested himself against it after closing it once inside.

He broke. His eyes got wet, his breath started shaking, and his hands started trembling. He frowned, trying to be strong so he wouldn't be seen as weak. But he realized, anyway, that he was totally alone. He couldn't fake it when he was alone with himself; he knew how he felt, and it was useless to pretend.

One after another, tears started pouring out his green, depressed eyes, and it hurt as if his tears were acid poison. He covered his face, biting his lower lip so he would not sob. Everything hurt, even his heartbeat. He sobbed once, and then he sobbed twice. Like that, he started crying silently.

It was Alice's tragedy, once more tragedy to count. He frowned again, not being able to stay on his feet anymore.

He ended sitting on the floor against the door, feeling his own tears paint his face with crystal water. He wouldn't stop sobbing, no matter how hard he tried. His sadness was stronger than him.

–Alice- He sobbed her name, feeling warmth in his chest when pronouncing those words. But it also hurt him deeper, because he knew that in a couple of days, he wouldn't receive and answer when calling her name. Just a name, a memory of someone he loved with all his might. Why did she have to die? Did she deserve such pain? She did not; Alice didn't deserve such a cruel end in her destiny.

Destiny; destiny was not something that was already decided, but something that was created little by little as days went on.

So, what did Alice do to write down her death in that moment and in that way? Oz didn't know.

He had to think, to find a way to be with her during those last days, and feel them as if they were forever.

Maybe half an hour had passed since he left Alice in her room, or maybe they were twenty minutes. One way or another, he knew he had promised to go back with her as soon as he could. He didn't search for medicine as he said he would, and maybe that was a very last chance. What could he lose after all? He was going to lose Alice anyway.

This thought eased his pain. Oz started shaking, understanding what was going to happen, and what was the real situation. He put his feet on earth, and understood that he was going to lose. The blonde couldn't bring himself to be positive, or to lie about it all anymore.

Bitter tears kept on pouring out his eyes. He had learned how to cry long ago, and now he wouldn't bring himself to stop.

He was sad; he noticed it all then, of course he was sad. He shook his head to every depressing thought.

He bit his lower lip, again. This time, he tried to calm down and stop crying. What if someone looked for him and found him in that emotional state? It was enough to see Alice's actual situation to be worried, and he didn't want to add more problems to such a bitter moment of his life.

He tried to breathe deep, as his tears kept on falling from his green eyes. He moved his hands from his face, and hugged himself, like trying to keep himself in one piece. Oz's eyes were heavy, and he suddenly realized how tired he was. He gasped, closing his eyes for a minute to gain some peace.

-Alice- The blonde whispered her name again, even though he knew she couldn't listen to him. He kept on breathing slowly, as his mind started calming down.

One last tear fell from his right eye; before he let his head fall.

He opened his eyes.

His mind went blind, seeing nothing more but white. No memories, no words, no phrases, no faces; just himself in space.

He slowly stood up, resting his back against the closed door. He wiped away the track of tears of his face, waiting for a couple of minutes so his face could go back to normal.

His eyes were still red, and he felt pretty exhausted.

Less than ten minutes later, he managed to put a smile on his lips, showing a bright expression in his eyes. It was time to go see Alice.

He opened the door of his room, getting out of that place, and closing the door once again. He headed to Alice's bedroom, walking through those same halls that had surrounded him for so long in his life. He had hope again, deep inside his head. However, as he got closer and closer to that certain room, he remembered that his faith was just a useless phantasm. –"What am I hoping for?"- He asked himself in his mind.

He stopped in his steps, thinking about that question a second time. He shook his head, because that thought erased his useless, fake smile. Now he knew for sure that there was nothing utopic in such a tragedy.

It was going to be something to be depressed for.

Again.

It was raining outside, and the sound of raindrops brutally hitting against the ground was well heard.

Alice was lying in bed, looking at the ceiling. Sharon had finished with her, and was picking up clothes and the things she had used.

The brunette was anxious, even though she did not show any proof of it. She tried to believe in what the blonde boy had told her.

But what if his promises were just words? It wouldn't be the first time he broke a promise, or that his words were just said to let Alice satisfied.

One drop fell down her face, from the bangs that covered her face. Her hair was wet yet, since Sharon didn't help her dry it; having her head wet, Alice would feel fresh, at least that was what the Rainsworth lady had told her.

-Alice-sama, I'm leaving now. - Sharon smiled sweetly at her.

The brunette didn't respond immediately, and waited for a couple of seconds before mumbling a brief "Ok".

The door closed, letting Alice know that she was finally alone. She sighed, frowning at the pain that consumed her being again. She closed both her eyes in order to try to clear her mind. Was her decision right? Did she give up too fast? Was that a punishment?

No matter what she answered herself, it still was unfair.

She felt she was being left alone by everyone, even Oz. She started to think he was mad at her in some way, for accepting such a fact while he did not.

Alice heard a noise. It was the familiar noise of the door opening again. But the atmosphere was different this time, and she knew it was that person she was thinking about.

She heard how he rested himself against the door, and how silence connected him with her. She then blinked, before making her best to sit up in the bed, letting out some pained gasps.

The young girl looked at the blonde.

There he was, looking down. She couldn't see his eyes, since they were covered by his bangs. But it didn't last long; he lifted up his gaze and connected their eyes.

Alice found herself surprised, finding something different in those emerald, sad eyes. What was it? His expression didn't transfer positivism or warmth; neither fear nor confidence. Was he trying to say something she couldn't think of? What could that be?

She kept seeking for some clue.

Oz wasn't helping her to find a respond. He just kept quiet, looking at her, trying to tell something with no words. Alice knew it was something else beyond everything he had shown before.

He looked certainly… comprehensive.

What did that look on his face mean, then?

What had he understood?

There it was. It was something he had understood. Could it be that thing that had tormented him for so long?

She blinked at her own answer. He _understood. _

Alice couldn't keep quiet for long at her discovery. She had to confirm it. –Oz? - She firmly pronounced.

At this, Oz softened his gaze. Yes, there it was.

It seemed real enough.

Could it be true?

Had Oz given up?


End file.
